I've been sitting here at my desk listening to my 2005 recital and my head's just been spinning in 427 different directions.
In the name of my musical soul, I recently made a huge decision to halve my hours at the firm and double my hours at my church (where I'm the Director of Music). While this decision provides me with glee and joy, it's now making the firm seem even more soul-sucking in comparison. Argh! make that 428.
I love what I do at the church and that's why I am so excited to be writing and composing and directing and practicing, etc. But for 20 hours a week I sit here at this desk and ponder. and contemplate. and Google. Not a good combination. Several of my friends are starting major careers (hellooooo Met) and it's very easy to get discouraged about the fact that I'm not. At least, not yet. 429.
But as I've been sitting here writing and re-writing this blog, the thought occurred to me that even if it doesn't look like what I initially expected, I truly believe that I will be successful. Even if it doesn't come with my own wikipedia entry. So, I'm glad that I nudged myself out of my rut and took a chance. It might not seem like a huge risk to those of you reading this (if anyone is), but I was getting really comfortable here at this desk. I had started thinking of careers that didn't revolve around music (wedding planning, anyone?) and I had stopped thinking of myself as a musician. And now, well, now I have the opportunity to stretch those parts of me that had started to atrophy. Now I have the opportunity, every day, to sit at a beautiful grand piano in a huge room and just sing. And I'm gonna get paid for it.
Hmm. When I put it that way, 20 hours seems like a small price to pay. Dang it. I was going to title this post "General Malaise Monday." Now I have to think of a new title. 430.
Update: Blogging Skills 102: how to include music in a post. Huzzah!
In the name of my musical soul, I recently made a huge decision to halve my hours at the firm and double my hours at my church (where I'm the Director of Music). While this decision provides me with glee and joy, it's now making the firm seem even more soul-sucking in comparison. Argh! make that 428.
I love what I do at the church and that's why I am so excited to be writing and composing and directing and practicing, etc. But for 20 hours a week I sit here at this desk and ponder. and contemplate. and Google. Not a good combination. Several of my friends are starting major careers (hellooooo Met) and it's very easy to get discouraged about the fact that I'm not. At least, not yet. 429.
But as I've been sitting here writing and re-writing this blog, the thought occurred to me that even if it doesn't look like what I initially expected, I truly believe that I will be successful. Even if it doesn't come with my own wikipedia entry. So, I'm glad that I nudged myself out of my rut and took a chance. It might not seem like a huge risk to those of you reading this (if anyone is), but I was getting really comfortable here at this desk. I had started thinking of careers that didn't revolve around music (wedding planning, anyone?) and I had stopped thinking of myself as a musician. And now, well, now I have the opportunity to stretch those parts of me that had started to atrophy. Now I have the opportunity, every day, to sit at a beautiful grand piano in a huge room and just sing. And I'm gonna get paid for it.
Hmm. When I put it that way, 20 hours seems like a small price to pay. Dang it. I was going to title this post "General Malaise Monday." Now I have to think of a new title. 430.
Update: Blogging Skills 102: how to include music in a post. Huzzah!
9 comments:
Shanti, shanti, shanti...
not sure, but i think that's a good thing?
It's the Buddhist chant for peace. Also the final line of TS Eliot's Wasteland (which is how I know of it, being episcopalian and all). Sometimes it seems the perfect response to things as it did for your post...
rockin. i'm feeling peaceful today so i guess it worked! haven't read much of Eliot, but am a big fan of CS Lewis.
on a random note, i'm looking into imeem b/c i had a crap of a time yesterday trying to load those songs into links...
Fun fact: you can rearrange TS ELIOT to read TOILETS.
I don't know if I would feel as intensely about The Wasteland had I not seen Fiona Shaw perform it(five times). Of course I'm with you on Mr. Lewis.
Imeem's done fine for me. As a non techie type, I recommend it.
Leee, you make me laugh.
PS - I assume these are you singing and I'm excited to hear them. Sadly, I can't do so at work...
I do think that seeing things live eternally etches them upon your conciousness. Unfortunately, I have both Ravi Shankar (fantastic) and Scary Spice as Mimi (heinous)forever leasing space in my brain.
and sweet. i'm looking forward to your comments.
This is great info to know.
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